


Save me, I'm lost

by Aida666



Category: Andrew Lincoln/Norman Reedus - Fandom, Leedus - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Alone, Deepnight, Love, M/M, Message, Sad, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 11:43:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11274720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aida666/pseuds/Aida666
Summary: Another lonely night of lost and broken Norman...





	Save me, I'm lost

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there after a long long time!  
> I wrote just a little one shot going throught my mind lately...  
> Hope you'll like it and if you do leave me a comm.

Have you ever had a feeling that your crush is not into you?  
I'm pretty sure you did...  
Have you ever had a feeling that your crush is not even possibly into you, never ever possibly into you?  
I suppose a plenty of you did...  
That sucks, huh?  
Yez..  
So.. Now I am sitting here, in my abandoned appartment  in a very late night, just as always, a glass of vodka in my hand, in totally dark room, watching a view of New York at night and thinking...  
I wonder how it could be if you gave me at least a chance.   
Why didn't you gave it to me?  
I know, you've got a family and so on.. And I am absolutely not about to ruin it.. But don't you see that you're ruining me?  
I mean..  
You always used to be that something because of what I wanted to be better.  
I quitted drinking because of you and almost all of my bad habbits.  
Everything you said to me I took as my personal pray.  
But you can't force somebody to love you.. 

And I didn't even want you force to love me.  
I just wanted.. To feel something, and you showed up at the bad time.. I still remember it clearly as if it happened just yesterday.  
We were just a few days on a set of our first season and we had free night.  
I was just getting back to my trailer, drunk, empty, lost.. And you showed up, you smiled a little and helped me to get on the stairs of my trailer.  
We ended up sitting there for almost all night, talking, laughing, smoking just as if we have known each other for a whole life. 

I fell in love with you that night.. It wasn't even supposed to be you, you were just the only one caring about me when no one did, you were the only one who wanted to spend his time with me..

But now, save me.. I'm lost.. Totally, deadly lost.  
After almost 8 years now, I still didn't stop loving you. 

 

I took another sip of Vodka.  
  
And now, I am sitting here again, drunk, empty, lost.. And you're not here to save me.  
  
I wonder if you even care anymore. Do you?  
Where are you?  
Could you just tell me everything will be okay?  
  
You know what's funny? I was able to do everything for you, I mean literally everything.  
I felt that I was a better person thanks to you.  
But was I?  
And now I am sitting here, still so empty.  
But that doesn't matter.  
I would pay any cost just to see you happy.  
What's clearly what you are.  
So, that's right.  
At least that.  
  
Sacrifice.  
That's the word I was looking for.  
You have no idea how many things I did to make you happy. How many feelings I hidded to not bother you...  
  
But I didn't complain cause I knew you care about me...  
Be honest, do you even care now?  
You've always told me that you would lose your family, your position, your life because of that.  
You used to tell me about all these things you would lose if something happened between us.  
 But after all it's me who's losing....  
  
It was just a kiss for god's sake!  
  
I don't even know what I was thinking that night.  
We both were drunk af when we were coming back to my appartment.  
I didn't wanted you to.. I dunno.. I remember we were fighting just for fun and suddenly you were so close..  we just kissed.  
Nothing more.  
But then you left me here with a weird feeling in my chest.  
Without a word you left my appartment.  
And after that you didn't response to any of my calls or texts..  
Well, I get it, but you could be at least that brave to tell me.  
  
It's not only my fault.. Or is.. I dunno...  
But after this all it's stil the only thing I want right now is you to come back, with two cups of coffee and your typical crooked smile.  
Nothing more.  
No more hitting on you.  
No more trying.  
No more crushing.  
Just.. Comeback with some coffee and cigarettes and we'll be alright..  
Just come if you'll get my message,  
Normski.


End file.
